Is it weird I still wipe my 4 year olds butt?
I insist on wiping all my kids butts until they pass a rigorous proficiency test that proves they are capable of thoroughly cleaning their own areas.
Poop is disgusting, I hate it.
No. Look me square in the computer monitor so I know your with me.
I. FREAKING. HATE. POOP.
I've written extensively about my professional hatred of sh*t.
I use 7-10 wipes every time I change Baby Kenley's diaper.
My Husband is ridiculously frugal and almost vomits every time he witnesses my wasteful wipee usage.
It's caused significant probs in our marriage. Worth it though.
I'm not about to use one wipe and let baby crap seep through onto my hands.
Back to wiping my 4 year olds butt though.....
I don't want him to do a sub-par job and then I have to scrub the residual skid marks out of his undies. GROSS.
When it comes to wiping your kid's butt, how old is too old?
A while ago, my friend Christie was APPALLED that I still wiped Cryin Ryan's butt. He was around 4 years old at the time.
She said she would literally kill herself if she was still wiping her kid's bum at that age.
That was the first time I looked inward and realized that I couldn't wipe his butt till he goes to college (although I am a fantastic mom so I totally would.)
I seriously googled "how to teach your kid to wipe his own ass".
One of the articles suggested demonstrating it.
Like, I'm supposed to pantomime wiping my own rear end in front of my children?
No thank you Mam', I have already messed up my kids enough.
And I really don't want my kids telling the neighbors how "mommy pulls down her pants and we saw her butthole."
I know butt-wiping is a skill everyone should master. And as a devoted mother, is it my job to teach them.
I just really don't want to scrub it out of their underwear though!!!...….
That's DIS-GUST-ING.
I'm not about to wash poop undies with the rest of our laundry.
I gag when I think about poop undies, Tide detergent, my clothes, and fabric softener marinating together in a washing machine.
*dry heaves.
I have thrown multiple pair of undies away because a miniscule speck of turd was on it.
Frugal husband wasn't happy about that game plan either.
I know I'm going to have to teach Tyler, my precious little angel of a 4 year old, to wipe in the near future.
Pray for me and all the poop stamps that will litter my household and permeate his clothing.
