Best Grandparents EVER

When you have a baby you automatically start classifying everyone you know.

People who are kind to your child vs. People who aren't

I instantly like anyone a lot more if they are nice to Cryin Ryan. 

People who are rude to him are A-holes... no matter what other redeeming qualities they may have. 

If you have a child you know what I am talking about. Nothing is worse than when someone is awful to your precious baby.

This is one of the reasons I love my parents even more.

They are awesome, nice, the best, kind, funny, patient, generous, and rad. 

They are always making an effort to see Pee-Toddler even though we live 2 states away. 

My mom missed Ryan on Easter so the next time they visited, she brought Easter eggs so Ryan could have a mini egg-hunt in our hotel room. 

My dad doesn't even get annoyed when Baby Ryan follows him around for hours. HOURS.
 

Ryan cannot get enough of "pa-pa". My baby shuns me if my Dad is in the room.
They don't question Ryan's mental capacity when he wants to look at "choo choo chains" on the iPad 684 times a day. 

Ryan is constantly talking about his Grandma and Grandpa. When Pee-baby sees a picture of them he runs and gets my phone so I can call them. Of course he just grins at the phone the entire time. 

It's disgusting how cute it is.

My mom even changes his unsavory log diapers.

They don't even judge Pee-baby for his constant nose-picking and butt-digging.

AWWWW! They are some of my favorite people ever.

I am definitely their favorite child. 

The fact that my baby is in love with them only cements my place in their hearts. Score!

amen.

HB 'Merica

Boneless Thumb

When Ryan was less than a week old I forgot to tuck his wiener down when changing his diaper. He ended up peeing everywhere and soaking his nasty newborn belly button stump. (Which is where the nickname "Pee-baby" originated.)
The purple umbilical stump was saturated with pee and looked waterlogged and infected.

I was scared his bellybutton would be jacked up for life.

Luckily the 2011 pee incident did not lead to a freaky looking navel.

Instead, Cryin' Ryan's belly button shriveled back up, dried out like a raisin and fell off.
The remaining skin healed into the shape of a butt-crack:

My belly button is pretty normal... except for when I was pregnant. Then it looked like my cat's b-hole.

My pregnant belly button also looks a little bit like a pedo-smile. Creepy.

I guess I should just be thankful my belly button doesn't look like a boneless thumb. That's way creepier.

I have seen some disturbing belly buttons......I am not talking about a cute, normal "outie".
I'm talking boneless belly-tail.

That would look WAY jacked up if a pregnant person had one.

Creepy...... yet extremely classy.

 I should be an artist. amen.