Saturday, November 21, 2015
Bachelorette Party: Part II
Part I here.
After horrifying Sara and Kama with the What's in Yo' Mouth game, we played a couple nicer games.
Then it was time to open presents!
Sara's friends are way too nice to her and got her some awesome sex outfits.
Who would have guessed that newly returned LDS missionaries would be so adept at picking out lingerie? NOT ME.
That's why my aggressive cucumber-wielding sister Rachel and I gave her a bunch of super cute undies from Victoria's Secret and an extra special surprise.
Look at how nervous but pleasantly surprised she was opening it.
She was not grateful that I wrapped up Jared's Lobster Pants along with them. Which I thought was really rude because those lobster underpants are awesome.
Don't worry, I didn't let her keep my family heirloom. I just wanted to gross her out since she gave me used lingerie from Salvation Army when I got married.
Sara paid her friends back by trying all the lingerie on and prancing around in front of everyone like a happy elf.
I felt it was good exchange for both parties.
Plus, I always wanted to know what color my sister's pubes were, and now I know.
Part of me REALLLLLLY wanted to hire a stripper, but a bigger part of me didn't want to clean my carpets again.
And I wasn't about to spend money on a stripper when I happen to be married to a perfectly good specimen of a man.
While I knew it would be awful for Sara to have a stripper, I knew it would be even worse if it was her brother-in-law. Which is why that's exactly what I did.
I brought up the idea with Husband who immediately jumped (or pelvic thrusted) on board.
He said he did this kind of stuff all the time in college and I nodded my head in deep understanding.
He may or may not have had a cop uniform already altered into a stripper's outfit that he surprised me with on our anniversary.....
I told Sara we were going to play a special game and made her sit in the middle. The doorbell rang and this happened:
Sara acted like she hated it, but I know she loved it.
I am the best sister ever.
And we have the best neighbors ever for watching the kids, even after Jared explained what it was for.
Oh yeah, Sara's BFF Assley, made amazing chili and Megan/Feg brought awesome rolls. It was way better than the candy I bought for dessert.
Also, yes, you read that right. My sister Megan/Feg was at my house and we had fun and got along. I may even start referring to her as just "Megan" now.
And I'm even more sorry for what we are going to do at your wedding.