Ear Plugs

This Friday I am flying to my hometown in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Pee-baby is coming with me.

That means 3 hours on a plane with a toddler. 

Pre-motherhood, I HATED flying when kids were on the plane. HATED IT. Actually, now that I am a mother, I still hate it.

I always sat as far away as I could get from them. Kids were the plague to me.

I always packed a sturdy pair of earplugs and a backup pair in case of emergency. I would get so worked up if a kid even moved, let alone make any noise.

I would secretly trash talk them in my mind:
  • How dare people think it's OK to bring their crying baby on a plane with 100 other people? 
  • Why is the 8 year old yelling? Did you really not bring anything for him to do? Not even a frieking coloring book? Really?
  • I would love to read my awesome Kurt Vonnegut book, but I cant, because your kids are too ugly.
  • Your 4 year old, with in-flight ADD, is pounding on the chair in front of him. If I was that person, I would bite him. Did you not even think to bring tranquilizers? (For the kid AND the dude sitting in front of him?)
  • I hate your kid.

Now I am the culprit.

Ryan has been on a plane before but he was still a tiny baby and slept the whole time.

I have a feeling that will not be the case this time. I don't trust this kid for a minute:

Out of consideration for others I packed a bag of earplugs for my fellow passengers.
I plan on giving them an apology before the plane even takes off, then I will offer the earplugs. Hopefully they won't hate my guts at the end of the flight.

I bought a bunch of new toys, snacks, and a DVD player to keep him occupied. I will also firmly cross my fingers before I step on the plane.

I think I'm still going to bring kid tranquilizers.... just in case.


  1. I've heard of people baking cookies and giving them to passengers on the plane, as a kind of apology that their kids are so annoying. From what I've heard, people are much more patient when you give them freshly baked cookies. Just an idea.

  2. Why are we slowly becoming everything we hate about the world?


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.