Baby Having

I have a few friends who are expecting their first babies pretty soon. Here are some things I wish I had known before I gave birth.

Newborns breastfeed about every 2 hours. 
I  had already heard this but what I didn't know was that it takes a newborn about 1 hour to eat. That means for the first couple of months, you will have a baby attached to your boobs every other hour.
Subscribe to Netflix, buy a laptop and a lot of good books, because you will be sitting on the couch holding a baby more than you ever thought possible.

Your boobs are going to get even bigger.
You think your pregnancy boobs are huge? Wait until after you have the kid. I was secretly kind of excited to fill my bras for once. It was horrifyingly awesome.

Your stomach is going to feel like Play Dough.
I was not expecting to be able to sculpt and shape my nasty belly fat/skin after birth. Luckily, your huge boobs will sort of hide the stomach freak show.

Plan to be completely unproductive for the first couple of months after you have the baby.
 I had a long list of things I was going to do while I stayed at home with my newborn. Learn more Spanish, Learn photoshop and adobe illustrator, design a coloring book, take a shower, get ready for the day, etc........
Instead, I just stared at baby Ryan. Be prepared to spend an embarrassing amount of time just staring at your little baby. They are so little and cute, you cant help it. Your house will probably be a disaster and you will have a ton of stuff to do, but you will inevitably spend most of your time staring at your baby.

Diaper Genies are essential.
Unless you like the smell of poop you should buy a diaper pail. Your whole house/garage will smell like baby dump if you don't dispose of the diapers properly. Some people are ok with that. I, however, am not. I happily pay for the overpriced refill packs.

Bottles are a PAIN to clean.
That's why I bought Tommee Tippee brand bottles. You don't need one of those annoying bottle brushes. They are supposedly "closer to nature" because they are shaped like a booby. If being shaped like a boobs means I can fit my hand and a sponge in to clean it, sign me up. 

I've had these bottles for over a year and they still look brand new. Some bottle brands turn yellowish and it's nasty.

Buy a good baby carrier.

I've used a lot of baby carriers and most of them suck. I ended up getting an awesome Baby Bjorn Active carrier for about $130. I would have rather bought candy, but this carrier was totally worth it. You need one with back support. I love this one because you can face the baby towards you or have them facing outwards.
If you buy a crappy one, it will hurt your back and you'll never use it. Then you will end up buying a nice one anyway, and your back will be really pissed off about how cheap you were. Ryan weights 23 pounds and I can still use it comfortably.

I also have an ergobaby carrier. This one is good for when they are a little bigger. You can carry them on your back with this one, while the baby bjorn only carries them on your front side.

The amount of laundry you do will triple.
The laws of physics do not apply when it comes to laundry and newborns. You will be doing laundry ALL THE TIME. I dont know how so much stuff accumulates especially when you consider their clothes are so tiny. 

You are going to fall in love. HARD.
Your heart is going to ache because you love the baby so much. It is scary. I became so protective that I almost shanked a stranger for coming to close to my baby. It is awesome. 

Friends with kids, anything I missed? 


  1. Thanks for dashing my confidence. I've been telling my husband - "Just you wait, the house will be clean, dinner will be made, the baby will be asleep". But I basically tell him to expect to come home from work and find me lying in a pile of filth having a staring contest with the baby?

  2. you hit the nail right on the head with everything, emily. only i would extend the "staring at the baby for two months" thing just a little bit. i still do that, and clarke's almost 8 months old. :) so what do you suggest to get rid of that awesome play dough tummy situation? i'm reaaaaaally getting tired of it. tmi?

  3. Hahahaha I HATE washing bottles so I put them back in the fridge as soon as they're done being drunk and reuse them and force myself to wash them once a week...you can use the same waterbottle for a week right?!? I get so pissed when my babysitters leave the bottles out and I am forced to wash them "early" espesh if it was a "new" bottle
    Diaper genie: hahaha I didn't get one with Cutter and his room smelled like shiz 24/7 so I broke down and got one when he was a few months old and I think I will just keep it forever and throw my own poo in it


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.