Desperately Clinging to Youth

On March 20th I will turn the ripe age of 29.

From what I heard, It's all downhill from here.

Getting older wouldn't be so bad if I didn't already act like an 80 year old.

Consider the following:

  • Jared's Grandma (who is easily one of my favorite humans) and I hit up the Early Bird Special at Yolanda's.
  • I am regularly in bed by 9pm.
  • I enjoy loafers and Birkenstocks.
  • I read the news.
  • I need glasses.
  • I can't hear that well.
  • I have fine lines and wrinkles. 
  • Sometimes I drive like an idiot.
  • I bake things.
  • I forget what I'm doing.
  • I feel so alone and scared without my fiber supplements.
  • I read way too many books.
  • I quit ditching out on Relief Society.
  • I carry cough drops in my purse.
  • I fall asleep at church.

At least I can cling to my youth given these facts:
  • I sadly admit to wearing Victoria's Secret Pink brand clothing even though I am way over the 13 year old age limit this line is intended for.
  • I have teenager acne.
  • I eat candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
  • I draw dirty pictures.
  • I pretend I'm sick if I don't want to do something.
  • I am easily distracted.
  • I cry when I don't get my way. 

I think I might adopt some kid habits to further preserve my youthfulness.
Eating my boogers, running around without pants on, and yelling in the middle of church will really give me the edge I need. 


  1. I considered all of the following above and realized that entire list applies to me as well- at 24. In bed at 9? Try like 8:30.

    And I think I'll ALWAYS resort to pretending I'm sick if there is something I don't want to do. It even worked last week for getting out of dinner with the in-laws. YES!

  2. HAHA scratch that. at 23. I'm even forgetting how old I am..


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.