Our house came with two grow boxes. Soil and irrigation was already set up. I felt like it would be a shame to not plant something.
I had never planted a garden before but I did watch an episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy so I had the general idea.
Ryan and I skipped to Walmart to buy the cheapest seeds we could find.
I made sure they were NOT ORGANIC since I hate that crap.
I made Ryan plant everything since I am a firm believer in child slave labor.
I felt the need to use fertilizer, weed killer, and pesticide just so I wouldn't be contributing to the organic lifestyle.
Surprisingly, everything started growing.
This is where it gets a little embarrassing.
My Facebook feed is often filled with pictures of how awesome other people's lives are.
I was a little proud that I actually grew something, so my dumb-a decided to post a picture of my vegetables with the caption "First Harvest!" like I was a pro at gardening and this was just another day in the life of a productive, healthy-eating parent/liar.
I should have captioned it "Holy Crap! Idiots can grow plants!!!"
Once I had accomplished my goal of growing stuff, my adult ADHD quickly led me to lose all interest.
I had bought some small watermelon sprouts since our seeds weren't growing. Instead of planting them I just let them die.
I quit watering everything for a while so all the peas died.
Pumpkins took over an entire grow box and are starting to dominate the other one.
Our neglected carrots got lonely and had an orgy. Which is fine because they are adults and can make their own decisions.
I was going to be healthy and eat the carrots, but they reminded me of Cheetos so I ate those instead.
At least I can cross making a salad from food I grew off my life's to do list.
Next year I plan on using the grow boxes as Baby Tyler's potty training litter box as that seems more practical.
