Unfortunately there are only 4 entries and the last post was in 2011.
It is a shame the author wasn't more ambitious. This would have made the world a funnier place.
I wish she had her email address availible so I could petition her to continue.
Cryin Ryan is the WORST eater ever.
I'll go ahead and attribute that to my sub-par parenting skills.
I'm a crappy cook by choice.
I hate cooking and I follow a 80/20 diet. 80% candy and 20% cereal.
So when Ryan wanted Reese's Pieces for breakfast, guess what, I put some in a bowl with a spoon and patted myself on the back.
Jared is the cook in our house. (I know, I have a hot husband that cooks for me, but he also spends too much money at Home Depot so don't be that jealous.)
The last couple of years he has been somewhat of a short-order cook for Ryan..... which is exactly what you are not supposed to do.
Our biggest problem is he refuses to TRY things. I beg for him to eat just one bite to see if he likes it or not.
He didn't want to try spaghetti last week so he went to bed without dinner. He woke up in the morning pale and sad. He promptly vomited everywhere. I quickly gave him some toast so no one would call child protective services on me.
We've tried everything to get him to eat more foods.
Positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, bribes, threats, tricks, and even this crap:
Finally I told him he can't ever play with friends ever again in his whole life if he didn't try some damn macaroni and cheese. I had just spent a solid 15 minutes making it and I was not messing around.
He angrily ate 2 noodles.
I considered that a win. He got down from his chair and stomped away. He was pissed.
A few minutes later he came back and did this to me:
He made up his own sign language to tell me he hates me.
I worked with kids a lot before I had my own. I knew how annoying they could be. I knew they asked "Why?" all the time. But I also knew that my children would be awesome and never annoy me.
I promised myself and my future kids that I would always answer that question.
I wanted to foster my child's curiosity. Explain everything I could, which isn't much, but still.
I was going to be the most patient mom ever, in the entire universe.
As soon as Ryan could talk he began Why-ing? me.
Why can't I play with my gum on the carpet?
Why can't you just clean it up when I'm done?
Why are our volcanoes so crappy?
Why is that girl showing everyone her boobs?
Why did *John's mom get surgery on her boobs?
*names have been changed to protect the surgically enhanced.
Why do we have to keep baby Tyler?
Why can't I live with Jackson and Aiden?
Why do cars have windows?
Why do spiders spin webs?
Why do you think I'm annoying?
And so on.
I valiantly answered each one of his questions once he started asking me.
Now I'm FREAKING OUT! It's soooo obnoxious. He harasses me all day long.
What should I do? Do other mom's seriously answer these questions all the time? Should I get a restraining order?
My current plan of action is whenever he asks "Why?" and I don't feel like answering, I just say "yes."
Why do monkeys show their privates? Yes.
Why can't I ride my bike in the street? Yes.
Why do I have to go to bed when it's light outside? Yes.
Why do you say I cry too much? Yes.
