I Love Things

"The best things in life aren't things."

This clever play on the original quote, "The best things in life are free", was scratched into the paint on a bathroom stall at Cal State University. Mid-pee, I was forced to contemplate my relationship with material goods. The person/philosopher who wrote this had obviously:

A) been extremely bored while going #1 or #2
B) been inspired by the "for a good time call XXX-2959" message written below it
and/or
C) come to the profound conclusion that tangible objects are not what makes life worth living.

Apparently this person has never been to Costco.

A few of my favorite:

The Swiffer
This little beauty sweeps up the stuff your broom leaves behind.
And the little sweeper things are disposable. I am all about reducing waste, but not when throwing it away is so convenient. Available in bulk at Costco.

My iPod
Many a plane rides and sessions at the gym would be ruined if it wasn't for my iPod. I can listen to 8 gigs of music while ignoring those around me. If someone tries to talk to me, I can politely refuse by pointing to my headphones and mouthing the words, "Sorry! I cant hear you!", making my anti-social behavior slightly more acceptable. (Also a Costco purchase.)

Facebook
Where else am I going to see all the cool kids from high school who are now overweight and paroled? Do not tell me that you don't feel giddy when someone from your past, fails at life.

Hot Dog and Drink for $1.50
Also available at your local Costco.

Pink Lip gloss
I would die without it. Sadly, not available at Costco or any Farmers Market.......yet.

My House
Even though it is old and still boasts the cross from the nuns that used to live here, I am stoked that I don't have to live in anyone's basement anymore.

Pen and Moleskin Notepads
How else would I fill up time while sitting in class and church. I need a creative outlet. It just so happens to be that my outlet involves drawing naughty pictures and showing them to the people around me.

Adult Acne Topical Cream
Is an explanation really needed? Without it, I look like I am an angst filled 14 year old who does not yet know the value of washing your face.


Lets all take this day to forget what is really important and ponder all the material possessions that make our life worth living.

Crying Makes Me Angry

I have never been much of a crier.
In fact I loathe crying.

When other people cry it makes me uncomfortable and instead of consoling them I slowly back myself out of the room.

I am sure this stems back to my evil older brother Jacob and the many lies he told me as a child. One of the most influential being: that if I cried too much my eyes would dry out and look like raisins. This made perfect sense to me.

I remember saving a Bubble Tape container, the older ones from the 1990's with the lid, and hiding it under my bed. For a significant period of time after that, every time I felt like I was going to cry I would run in my room and catch the tears in the gum container. I figured that If I save them, when my eyes started to resemble raisins, I could simply pour the used tears back into my eyes. Before long I was able to stop myself from crying altogether.

Messed up. I know.

Still to this day I don't really cry. (And if I do I don't readily admit it.) When I get angry I run or punch stuff. If I get sad, I am angry that I'm sad. Scared? Angry that I'm scared. Stressed? I'll be angry in no time. Its seems to be that my coping mechanism is to turn every negative emotion into anger, and then to me running, punching things or cleaning my house really well. (At least my anger is sometimes productive.)

Yep. That pretty much sums me up.

Artist: Rachel my sister (who is actually an amazing cartoonist, I should get her to draw some more messed up stuff for me.)

Hmmmm. If I wasn't so cheap I could get a therapist to explore my anger issues... actually, maybe not such a good idea.

Every so often something moves me enough to let a few tears fall. I was reading my friend, BreeAnn's blog who references this blog. It made me cry. Then I punched some stuff. Then I was inspired to grateful for everything I have.

A tearful Amen.

A Post That Is Not About Anything That Gross

I have had more than a few people ask me how I stay fit. Actually it's more like, "Why are you so skinny? I bet you eat whatever you want and not gain a ounce....wahhh! wahhh!" The truth is I work out hard and eat relatively healthy. I have my fat days, but I hate them so much I take steps to ensure there are fewer of them. Here are a few tips that really help me maintain level of fitness:

• I do at least 100 crunches every day. This may seem a little daunting but you can do it while your watching t.v., reading or microwaving a corn dog. Start out by doing 5 sets of 20 repetitions.

• If you are trying to lose a few pounds, weigh yourself every day. I gained about 10 or 15 pounds a couple of years ago and didn't even realized it until my boobs were actually filling up my bra. Confused, I stepped on the scale and discovered my gain. I kept a log of my weight every day. Just being aware of what my body was doing made it easier to reach my goals.

• I don't deprive myself. If I want candy or ice cream etc. I will eat a bowl of cereal, a granola bar or an apple before. Eating something healthy before helps me to not eat as much of the good stuff. I am not a believer in deprivation. I think if you cut out yummy food cold turkey, you are bound to binge on it at some point. And then when the person you live with finds empty ice cream buckets in the garbage you feel like a dirty little cheater (just like I did when I was caught eating cake batter right before we moved.)

• I have healthy snacks available all the time. It is too easy to eat bad if you are always in a hurry. I have a ton of fruits and vegetables ready in my refrigerator to grab and go. I prepare them and package them in Tupperware or in Ziploc bags so that I can throw a few in my purse as I race to work or school. I have a huge box of granola bars in my car too.

Good snacks for busy or late people:

yogurt
baby carrots
broccoli
bell peppers (I usually throw a mix of vegetables into each individual bag.)
granola bars or Nutri-grain bars
apples
peaches
string cheese

(I usually just stock up with whatever is on sale that week.)

• I only drink water. If I am going to waste 250 calories on something, it is not going to be on soda. Juice is fine every once and a while but you have to be aware of the sugar content. I keep a box of water bottles in my trunk so I have some if I forget my glass bottle. Drinking a ton of water also helps my angry adult acne from reeking havoc on my face.
  

• I do some kind of cardio at least twice a week. Nothing trims my body down as good as a run or walk through the neighborhood. If your neighborhood has creepy and/or rapey looking people like my does, you can go during daylight hours or with a friend. (I feel too weird when I jog with a handgun or taser.)

• I also motivate myself by buying episodes of The Girls Next Door to watch on my iPod while I use the treadmill at 24 hour fitness. The anticipation of seeing what girl is going to pretend to love Hugh Hefner more has motivated me to run many times. I am only allowed to watch them if I am on a treadmill. Rewards are the best, buy your self a new pair of gym shorts or a tank top every once and a while.

• I clean the house often and do copious amounts of yard work. Working out while being productive is a beautiful thing.

You too can look as hot as this chick!


Amen.






P.S. I caught a baby lizard in my bedroom yesterday. I put it in a Tupperware dish and took it with me on all my errands. The girls at the bank were a little grossed out though. I saved it to show Jared, then felt bad for the little guy and let him go.