Pee-Toddler loves clocks.
He can only say 10-15 words and clock is one of them.
He spots them everywhere. If there is one hiding in the corner at a store he goes nuts and yells, CLOCK! CLOCK! CLOCK! about 15 times until everyone is looking at us and wondering if Ryan has mental problems.
He points them out if we pass them on the street.
He gets more excited about clocks than he does about Baby Finley. That's serious.
I have to chalk his obsession with clocks up to Jared's grandparents, who live across the street from us.
Jared's awesome Grandpa, Jim, was one of my most favorite people ever.
He passed away a few years ago. He was an avid antique clock lover.
He had an entire workshop devoted to fixing clocks. He collected them and put the especially old and cool ones all over his house.
When you walked into his house, you would hear the ticking of over 30 clocks.
It sounds lame but it became one of the most comforting sounds.
We spent a lot of time over there.
Since Ryan was born, we have gone across the street the visit Jared's grandma a few times every week. The clocks are still hanging all over the house.
I never thought to point out any of the clocks to Cryin' Ryan.
We never talked to him about them or tried to get him to say "Clock".
I don't know how he learned it or why he is so obsessed with them.
I like to think that before Ryan was born, he was an angel hanging out with Grandpa Jim. Jim would have for sure showed Ryan all there is to know about clocks.....Yeah, I'm going to go with that.
There is nothing that makes my blood boil more than child abuse. I have worked with severely abused kids before and am glad when I take my awesome baby to the doctor that they take the time to ask questions about my child's health and appearance.
But, as all mom's know, some questions make you get a little defensive, especially if you know you are the best mom ever.
For some reason, every time Cryin Ryan has a doctor's appointment he makes sure to get bruised and scratched as much as possible.
I dread walking into the Doctor's office when my baby has bruises all over his little body.
Medical personnel stare at me skeptically and demand to know how he got each bruise.
They ask:
"Why does he have 4 different bruises on his forehead alone?"
I explain:
"His head is so huge in comparison to his body that it's easy for him to lose his balance. It's especially bad when it's windy......"
Why are his legs Scraped up?
"Between you and me, I think he tripped outside on purpose because I just bought these cool Toy Story Band-Aids."
Why are does he have this bruise on his thigh?
"5 words - Yo Gabba Gabba Dancey Dance."
Why is his other leg all bruised up?
"I swear I don't abuse my child."
This is when they look at me with one eyebrow raised and then furiously scribble something down in Ryan's medical file.
Then I hurry home and clean up before Child Protective Services gets there.
amen.
If you have a baby, you will know exactly what I am taking about when I say how much I HATE snaps on baby clothing.
I swear I have opened and closed more than 3432534259874398270 snaps since Ryan has been born.
Newborns are the WORST.
Every time they poop, which is every 10 minutes, you have to redo the snaps.
They go through 5-100 outfits a day and each time you have to redo the snaps.
They sneeze, you have to redo the snaps
Babies also usually wear more than one layer, so each time you change their pants you have to do 2-3 layers of the wretched snaps.
With hate in my heart, I decided to only snap the middle button.
This led to the onsie slipping to the side, squishing the diaper, and caused pee to leak everywhere.
I had to revert to doing all the snaps since I don't like pee stamps all over my house.
I loved the baby bundlers. In the middle of the night, the last thing you want to be doing is snapping crap up.
I assume that if you have a baby girl, you save a ton of time because dresses don't have snaps.
Why don't they make more masculine dresses in Cryin' Ryan's size???
This just doesn't look right:
One day, Ryan is going to kill me.
