Innocent Bruises

There is nothing that makes my blood boil more than child abuse. I have worked with severely abused kids before and am glad when I take my awesome baby to the doctor that they take the time to ask questions about my child's health and appearance.

But, as all mom's know, some questions make you get a little defensive, especially if you know you are the best mom ever.

For some reason, every time Cryin Ryan has a doctor's appointment he makes sure to get bruised and scratched as much as possible.

I dread walking into the Doctor's office when my baby has bruises all over his little body.
Medical personnel stare at me skeptically and demand to know how he got each bruise.

They ask:
"Why does he have 4 different bruises on his forehead alone?"

I explain:
"His head is so huge in comparison to his body that it's easy for him to lose his balance. It's especially bad when it's windy......"

Why are his legs Scraped up? 

"Between you and me, I think he tripped outside on purpose because I just bought these cool Toy Story Band-Aids."

Why are does he have this bruise on his thigh?

"5 words - Yo Gabba Gabba Dancey Dance."

Why is his other leg all bruised up?

"I swear I don't abuse my child."

This is when they look at me with one eyebrow raised and  then furiously scribble something down in Ryan's medical file.

Then I hurry home and clean up before Child Protective Services gets there.


  1. I hated that with 2-year-olds. But Im glad they ask the questions!

  2. This post would be hilarious if I hadn't witness him get 17 bruises on his head in just the 2 hours we hung out that one time....


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.