Poking Dead Things

I was doing my yearly hour of yard work yesterday. I have been working on the computer way too much and I can't stand sitting there forever. Usually I just take Baby Ryan to a park or the Boys and Girls Club to get out of the house, but my yard needed some TLC.

I don't love yardwork, but I do love making things look clean and pretty.

I was out enjoying the sun and fresh air. Cryin Ryan was stoked to roll around in the dirt. I was pulling weeds when I saw this:

Naturally, I had to poke the dead bird with a stick. Ryan joined in with his own twig.

Why is it so instinctual to poke dead animals with sticks? Why can humans just leave them alone?

It was a little gross but I continued on with my work.
45 minutes later I found this little guy:

Dead lizards aren't nearly as cute as live ones.

Yes, we poked him with our sticks.

What is the Universe trying to tell me???

Sleeping Beauty

I'm still working on my Disney Princesses masterpiece.

Drawn with my trusty pencil and paper:

I made this one with a magical computer:

I went ahead a assumed that Sleeping Beauty had huge boobies. She turned out a lot prettier than my other princesses. I may have to ugly her up a little.
What should I do?

Leg hair?
Unibrow?
Nasty teeth?
Spiderweb on her chotch?

I can't decide......... My life is so difficult.

Hoarding Pee

Have you ever heard the toilet philosophy:

If It's Yellow Let if Mellow. If It's Brown Flush It Down?

It's a water saving technique I instituted in my house about 4-5 years ago.

Basically, if you pee you leave it in the toilet to chill out. Then you pee in the same toilet a few more times before you actually flush. A little gross, I know.
If you happen to find something brown in your toilet, feel free to immediately flush it.

I'm not a super-environmentalist but I do a what I can to reduce my carbon footprint. Saving my pee up in the toilet is just one easy way I can help save the planet. Oh yeah, I also bring my own reusable bags to the grocery store and recycle.
I suddenly feel extra smug.... it comes naturally when you think you are better/greener than everyone else.

 It's hard to believe but there is a downside to urine hoarding.

One time, Jared's uncle showed up to see our newly remodeled bathroom without an invite. I hate when people just show up at my house unannounced.

Of course our pee soup was simmering in the pot.
I felt so vulnerable as we showed him around and noticed my homemade lemonade was floating in our new toilet.
Although my whiz was visible, it looked a lot classier since we put new travertine floors in.

So do me a favor, let me know before you come to my house so I can flush. K? Thanks.


Ultimately, whatever you do privately in your underpants is your own business. amen.