Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Hungry For Vomit


I think I've established the fact that I am nasty.
My personal habits are nasty.
My thoughts are nasty.
My friends are nasty.
My extended family is nasty.
My kids are nasty.
My whole life is nasty.

A recent incident has taken my life's nastiness to an entirely new level.

When Ryan was a baby and I switched his car seat to face forward, he would get car sick.
For an entire summer, anytime I drove longer than 30 minutes in the car, he would barf curdled milk everywhere.
I was working for the Boys and Girls Club summer program and we had field trips every Friday usually in Los Angeles. I drove my own car so I wouldn't have to sit on the bus for an hour with screaming kids and this one super annoying staff member Cynthia. She was the worst.

Anyway, every Friday Cryin' Ryan would end up puking, I would pull over, spend 30 minutes cleaning it up, change him into new clothes, and show up at the destination with my boss asking why Ryan smelt like rotting protein.

It was awful.
That curdled milk baby throw-up smells amazingly bad.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. I switch Tyler's car seat around and now he starts puking too. My psyche had barely healed from all Ryan's barf 3 years ago.




Tyler's car sickness threshold is low and he's been puking almost every time we drive anywhere. It's so frequent that I don't even pull over anymore. When he vomits, I just hand him some wipes and he tries to clean it up himself. He doesn't cry and it doesn't seem to bother him much.

My car permanently stinks like 1,000 rotting squirrel carcasses.

Then one day, T-bag started eating it.




This is so nasty, I don't even know what to say. Look at how happy he is.

Except it was polite that he offered some to Ryan, and Ryan graciously declined. #Proudparent


P.S. Don't get all judgy that I may or may not have been recording a video while driving my car. We were in my neighborhood with no cars/people around and I was going slow. Plus I haven't gotten in a car wreck for like 5 years, so settle down.





1 comment:

  1. Bleeeeeh! I think I just vomited! I will never tire of reading about your lfe. :)

    ReplyDelete

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.

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