3.02.2009

Crime and Punishment part I

I think a new social contract is in order.

crime: an ugly girl wears slutty clothes in public
punishment: she must clean up litter along the highway for littering our minds

crime: pretty girl wears slutty clothes in public

punishment: any guys should be able to stare at her junk all they want and pretty girl can't act offended

c: leaving a log in a public toilet

p: offender must fish it out with bare hand and admit the loaf was theirs. (Why do people do this? Flushing is not that big of hassle...)

c: guys in the gym who lifting their shirt and scratching their stomach because they think everyone wants to see their abs
p: punch in the crotch.

c: answering all the Professor's questions in class
p: karate chop to the throat.

c: parking your basket in the middle of a grocery store isle
p: whoever you blocked gets to kick over either you or your cart, their choice.

c: leaving your whiny kids in the car while you shop
p: an awesome award.

c: talking on your phone, giggling like a drunk girl, or tapping on anything in the library
p: kicked out and a punch in the crotch.

c: driving like a moron
p: punch in the crotch.


Looking at this, I think that more often than not, punching all offenders in the crotch is the answer to all societies problems.... If I knew that next time I drove like an idiot I would get a crotch punch, I would defiantly think twice about it.

Dr. Laura would be proud. :(

1 comment:

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.