I Hate Being On Shows

When I have a break between class I sometimes wander over to the CSUN campus bookstore to read all the magazines about famous people buying coffee.

I cannot bring myself to actually pay $3.95 for the cultural bibles that tabloids have become.
Instead I chill out in the bookstore absorbing imperative information including what gender Lindsey
Lohan is attracted to that week (I still can't figure out how she manages to nail the "white trash 12 year old" look with such consistency... pure talent, I guess.)

I hate that I am interested in how big Heidi Montag's boobies are
or if Megan Fox has troll thumbs. When I read that Jessica Simpson hooked up with that ugly dude from smashing pumpkins, I secretly applauded her for giving up.

The sadistic part of me loved when Brittany Spears was pictured without makeup and sans hair
extensions. I admit I was a little giddy when Jennifer Aniston dumped John Mayer (she deserves so much better after what she went through with Brad.....)

These are serious global issues that must be considered - for free - at your colleges bookstore -
preferably in the back where no one can see you.

If one of my professors or someone I know see me reading this tripe, I say that I am doing a sociological project based on our communities preoccupation with social status...... or how the Culture Industry has replaced our individual rationality with a false consciousness that manipulates and represses us. Or whatever else I make up on the spot.

As I was leaving a girl claiming to be from MTV approached me and asked if I was interested in being on one of their shows. With the tabloid madness fresh in my mind, I answered, "I hate being on shows."
Out of curiosity I asked her what the show was about.
Turns out she needed extras to dance in bikinis on the set of their spring break special. Wow. I wasn't aware that I looked like a girl who would sign up for that.

Tomorrow I am leaving my nipple tassels and leather chaps at home. amen.

P.S. Heather, another website fit for your Dark Roasted Blend addiction: Listverse

1 comment:

  1. haha!! what a crack-up, emily!! glad to see a little more of what you're doing! looks like things are going well :)


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