My Mom is Better Than Your Mom

My mom, Erlynn, is better than your mom.

  • She taught me how to clean the house like a maniac.
  • She told me I was pretty even when I was ugly.
  • She writes nice notes to me.
  • She has never been mean to me even after I wrestled her on the ground in the middle of the airport.
  • She gave me all of her scrap-booking stuff after she realized scrap-booking kind of sucks.
She laughs at my questionable, inappropriate and often times tasteless jokes such as this:


  1. You might be the coolest person I know! Maybe that's only because I don't know your mom?

  2. Hey, can I pre-order one of those for next year? That would have summed up what I should have said to my mom instead of 'Your kind of a bitch, but so am I... So I guess it all works out.' :)


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.