My Mom is Better Than Your Mom

My mom, Erlynn, is better than your mom.

• She taught me how to clean the house like a maniac.

• She told me I was pretty even when I was ugly.

• She writes nice notes to me.

• She has never been mean to me even after I wrestled her on the ground in the middle of the airport.

• She gave me all of her scrap-booking stuff after she realized scrap-booking kind of sucks.

She laughs at my questionable, inappropriate and often times tasteless jokes such as this: