Jake's wedding dinner in 2003 doubled as a brainstorming session. My siblings, Jared and I all convened to form a master plan of how to decorate our Jerk-off brother's car after his wedding reception.
I immediately thought of pubes. Anytime you want to make something memorable.... use pubes.
But pubes alone would blow off the car and leave the parking lot a black wiry mess.
A healthy mixture of equal parts pubes and vaseline would adhere beautifully to the car.
My two younger brothers executed my genius idea. They had a mutual photography session while harvesting said pubes.
During Jake's wedding reception they snuck out and smeared the concoction all over the windows and underneath the door handles. It was a masterpiece.
Jake and his new Bride skipped out to their car. Chivalry prevailed as Jake grabbed hold of his infected door handle for his wife.
I stood in the crowd laughing harder than I ever have in my life.
Jake eyed the goop suspiciously.
"It's PUBES!!!" my brothers yelled, clearly pleased with themselves.
Jake chased them down and cleaned his hand on their faces. amen.