Getting to Know You

It is not good for me to be bored. I get into massive amounts of trouble when I feel like I dont have anything better to do. A few days ago I found myself staring at the wall with crusty drool dripping from my mouth. 
I was so bored that I even considered calling a friend and being social...

I figured that before I get arrested again, I need to find something productive to do.... fast. 

Instead of being productive, I got addicted to the worst drug ever, Pinterest.

I made my own version of one of the pins I saw, "Date night in an envelope".
You prepare a bunch of envelopes with pre-planned date nights. On date night you pick one.

I entitled this dating masterpiece:

Getting to Know You

Date Instructions:
1. Shower
2. Dress up in Sexiest Lingerie
3. Play enclosed games

Game 1: Know Eachother


This includes about 50-60 questions intended to dig deep into your partners soul.
Questions include:
  • What was your favorite part of puberty?
  • What smell makes you want to gag? 
  • If you could get a free boob job or a free testicle job, would you?
  • What are you most afraid of?
  • What is the best thing about your partner?
  • When is the last time you cried like a little wuss?
  • What makes you feel pretty?
  • When you commit a crime and have to move out of the country, where are you going to move?

Game 2: Would You Rather


Includes a healthy stack of uncomfortable questions like:

  • Would you rather make out with Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson?
  • Would you rather fight Mike Tyson or talk like him for the rest of your life?
  • Would you rather smell like a fart all the time for the rest of your life or drink a diarrhea milkshake?
  • Would you rather have balls hang from your chin or have a five inch tail that wags every time you get excited?
  • Would you rather be a hipster or die?
  • Would you rather eat curry flavored poop or poop flavored curry?

Game 3: Dirty Jenga 

To play, click here. 

This is going to be an interesting date night. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh my...... I am so glad you are a Scott....


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.