I was so bored that I even considered calling a friend and being social...
I figured that before I get arrested again, I need to find something productive to do.... fast.
Instead of being productive, I got addicted to the worst drug ever, Pinterest.
I made my own version of one of the pins I saw, "Date night in an envelope".
You prepare a bunch of envelopes with pre-planned date nights. On date night you pick one.
I entitled this dating masterpiece:
Getting to Know You
Date Instructions:
1. Shower
2. Dress up in Sexiest Lingerie
3. Play enclosed games
Game 1: Know Eachother
This includes about 50-60 questions intended to dig deep into your partners soul.
Questions include:
- What was your favorite part of puberty?
- What smell makes you want to gag?
- If you could get a free boob job or a free testicle job, would you?
- What are you most afraid of?
- What is the best thing about your partner?
- When is the last time you cried like a little wuss?
- What makes you feel pretty?
- When you commit a crime and have to move out of the country, where are you going to move?
Game 2: Would You Rather
Includes a healthy stack of uncomfortable questions like:
- Would you rather make out with Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson?
- Would you rather fight Mike Tyson or talk like him for the rest of your life?
- Would you rather smell like a fart all the time for the rest of your life or drink a diarrhea milkshake?
- Would you rather have balls hang from your chin or have a five inch tail that wags every time you get excited?
- Would you rather be a hipster or die?
- Would you rather eat curry flavored poop or poop flavored curry?
To play, click here.
This is going to be an interesting date night.
amen.
