Moab and Swoobies

Moab, Utah can be an awesome place to explore......... but NOT in the middle of summer.

3 of my seven siblings, their kids, and my parents parents drove down to the steaming condos we rented. All of my family lives in Utah except for me, so trips like this don't happen much.

It was so hot I had swoobs (like "swass" - sweaty a$$ - but with your boobs) the entire time. I really felt bad for Jared and Cryin' Ryan cause I knew they probably had a wicked case of saran wrap (when your ball sack skin sticks to your leg like saran wrap).

The only fun part was showing off how agile I am when I wear my Chaco sandals. I tap-danced on a steep incline for my sister, Sara, who was very impressed.

 The only relief from the saran wrap, swoobs and swutt-crack, was the condo community's swimming pool and spa.
At one point almost all 12 members of my family were sitting in the hot tub. I decided not to get in as I did not want to be involved in any Barlocker stew.



  1. Whenever I get swoobs, I just think of it like I'm giving Isaac a little extra electrolytes when he nurses. Who doesn't love a little salt from sweaty boobs?


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.