Strawberries and Regret

 Camarillo, California strawberries are life-threateningly good.

They seriously make you want to die, because you fear nothing in the world will ever be as good as they are.

I'm pretty sure in Lehi's dream, these strawberries are what was growing on the tree of life.

And Camarillo has the best bakery in the world, The Bread Basket. They make the best berry cake you have ever eaten.

Things that Camarillo Strawberries are better than:

  •  MAC lipglass
  • An awesome hot tub in your backyard
  • Cuddling a baby
  • Hugging a loved one
  • Having your period on time
  • Finding a $50 bill that you hid from yourself
  • My Mom's xanax

Utah strawberries remind me of cardboard and dirt. That's why every time I eat them I put an unhealthy amount of sugar on them, which is followed by an unhealthy amount of regret.

When I am diabetic, I know it will be because of the crappy strawberries.


  1. 1. Stay out of my Xanex. 2. Bread basket cake! Mmmmmmm. :9 3. let's go visit.

  2. Glad to know I am fueling regret and sorrow in your life on a daily basis. P.S. listen to your mother for once she's a very smart lady!

    1. Yeah Emily! I'm s.m.r.t. :) (She just called me 'tarded on the phone because I can't sit up straight because I hurt my back!)


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.