Eating Adventures With T-bag

While Ryan is a horrible child eater, Baby Tyler, who is also horrible, is very open to trying new things.

I wouldn't normally post about something so lame as my child's eating habits, wait.... I post about lame crap all the time so never mind.

Tyler is foul.
He eats everything that humans shouldn't.
I am seriously surprised I haven't had to call 911.

I catch him eating the weirdest things:

• Candles

  

• Roly-polys, beetles, and other appetizing insects
• Carpet cleaner
• Sucking and drinking the juice out of Lysol cleaning wipes and baby wipes
• Old onion skins from the back of the pantry
• Soap

 

• Dust bunnies
• Mascara
• Markers he especially enjoys Crayola brand because I only give my boys the best

• Diaper cream
• Victoria's Secret lotion in Love Spell and Strawberries and Champagne
• Air freshener spray
• Laundry detergent
• Shoes
• Shaving Cream

• His own vomit

What's super surprising is that my kids don't eat their boogers.

I know your thinking...... why don't you just lock all this stuff up so Tyler can't access it?
And the answer is: you and your logic can shut up.

Plus, I think I read somewhere that markers and laundry detergent are an excellent source of protein which he needs for his daily workouts.

How can someone be so gross and so cute at the same time?