Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Strawberries and Regret


 Camarillo, California strawberries are life-threateningly good.



They seriously make you want to die, because you fear nothing in the world will ever be as good as they are.




I'm pretty sure in Lehi's dream, these strawberries are what was growing on the tree of life.





And Camarillo has the best bakery in the world, The Bread Basket. They make the best berry cake you have ever eaten.




Things that Camarillo Strawberries are better than:

  •  MAC lipglass
  • An awesome hot tub in your backyard
  • Cuddling a baby
  • Hugging a loved one
  • Having your period on time
  • Finding a $50 bill that you hid from yourself
  • My Mom's xanax

Utah strawberries remind me of cardboard and dirt. That's why every time I eat them I put an unhealthy amount of sugar on them, which is followed by an unhealthy amount of regret.




When I am diabetic, I know it will be because of the crappy strawberries.




Friday, April 17, 2015

Utah House: Part IV


This is dumb but I was feeling bad for myself because the view isn't nearly as good as our view in Califonia. But then I remembered to stop being a little brat, and I felt better.

Our backyard, which fuels Ryan's obsession with rocks:





Jared's workshop and more rocks:





Jared's workshop and mess:




Side yard with sad yellow grass after a cold winter:




The previous owners left a sweet hot tub but of course we are too cheap to run it:





Basement food storage and other crap room:




Our classy home gym:





Rest of basement full of other random junk like a Christmas tree, plastic storage bins, and my old slutty prom dresses:




That's pretty much it.
the end.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Utah House: Part III


More Utah house pics. See how I stretch what should be one blog post into four posts???? I can't decide if I'm a genius or just super lazy. Probs just lazy though.

Guest bedroom, or Baby Caleb and Lisa's bedroom since she's the only one allowed to stay here. ( Christie, you can sleep in the master with Jared and I, it won't be awkward at all, I promise):




Cryin' Ryan and T-Bag's room:






All the rooms have walk-in closets that make me super happy:




Office/bedroom:






Stop being so jealous of all my fancy bedroom and office furniture. It's not my fault I'm so stylish.
Kids bathroom that we never use:







end.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Utah House: Part II





Mmmmmkay. So here's more house pics.
The 1/2 bath across from the laundry room decorated with my fancy modge podge map:








The Master bedroom decorated with nothing since I am a sad combination of lazy and cheap:







 
I love this house's layout because you have to pass the master bedroom to get to any of the other bedrooms. It make me feel that my kids are safer because if any creeper tries to sneak in, We will hear them, exercise our 2nd amendment rights, then Jared can hold the dude down while I rip his nuts off and gut him with a blunt razor blade and my teeth.

Another view of the sad/lazy/cheap/potentially murderous master:




Master bath:




The shower has 2 shower heads which is as awesome as you would imagine.

Other part of master bath:




Walk in hall closet:





A hall that displays my house's ample amount of ceiling titties:




end.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Utah House: Part I


 Moving from California to Utah has been a little sad, but one thing that makes me happy is the cheap housing.
When we were house hunting we were shocked at the amount of house you could get for your money.
There were a lot of brand new craftsman style homes, but they had small rooms and hardly any storage space. We would of had to wait 6-8 months while it was built, which I am way too impatient for.

 We ended up buying this house because there is a TON of storage space, which I am obsessed with.

The front room has a pile of boxes has been there since we moved in December. It's all my books. We (and by "we", I mean Jared) are going to build in a ton of bookshelves and make it a mini library, since I have no use for a formal living room.
I hate everyone so it's not like I have a ton of visitors.




The antique piano came with the house, which is awesome since none of us play the piano. And it's not like I'm going to start. I firmly gave up the piano as a young girl since my teacher's house smelled like mold and dog feces.




Notice if you will, Ryan trying to point his butt at the camera and Tyler eating way to many corndogs. It's always classy at the Scott's house.



The kitchen has an amazing amount of cabinet space. 1/4 of them are empty and it makes my neat-freak heart happy. We are going to paint the ceilings, trim and baseboards white so it's not so brown. Maybe the brown is good though since my kids are dirty and poop everywhere.

Kitchen desk that is usually was more cluttered than this picture.




The mudroom is deliciously big.

 


There are two pantrys. One in the kitchen and one across from the mudroom. I obviously dont have that much food, since I never cook. So I use it as a Mormon Girl Supplies/all the kids toys/Preschool crap room.



One of the BEST things about our house is these toilet paper holders. Do you know how much time I save by just sliding the roll on? Probably only like 15 seconds, but it feels like a lot more.




end.



Friday, April 3, 2015

Rock Tit Craft


My new house is bare.


I'm no decorating genius, I save my genius for drawing dirty pictures and cleaning up kid poop.
My usual plan for decorating go like this:

1. Look at my empty house and feel like a failure of a Mormon mom.
2. Obsess over Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware catalogs.
3. Remember I am cheap.
4. Throw away said catalogs.
5. Switch obsession to cute DIY blogs.
6. Become excited about possibilities.
7. Drive to store.
8. Remember I suck at this.
9. Buy tons of candy.
10. Go home to bare house and eat all of previously bought candy.


Our house has 4 bedrooms on the main level, but I make the boys share a room. I could totally let them have their own rooms but then when I put their laundry away I would have to go to 2 different rooms, and that is not going to happen.

I needed to do something for the boy's room though.

I saw these awesome metal letters and bought them. I tried to hand them up but they were too small for the room and looked stupid.

I reached deep inside my Mormon girl self and came up with a crafty-pants idea.
I nailed fabric to painting canvas, and nailed the letters over that.

I went to hang them up and realized my kid's initials spell "RT", which is a universal acronym for "Rock Tit".







You know, when you get cold and your nips stick out everywhere? That's Rock Tit. Embarrassing.

I have to rearrange their entire room so the initials would not remind me of people's nips standing at attention.





It's still pretty bare, but better than nothing! (Which is also what I say to myself when I let my kids run around in their undies.)


amen.




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