$500 and Pee Stains

I hate that phrase but seriously...

Victoria's Secret sometimes issues incentive cards with your purchase. They are only valid for the following month. I got mine in March ergo, I could only use it April 1-30. The cards have a surprise amount of store credit, but you have to go back to the store to find out how much it's worth. They have at least $10 and up to $500.

Since April 30 was the last day you could use the incentive cards. I went in a grabbed a $10 lotion knowing the card had at least $10 on it.

The sales girl swiped the card and her jaw dropped.

$500 dollars was on the gift card!!! OMG!

I peed my pants more that I did at the trampoline park a few weeks ago!

I had to spend it all as April 30 was the last day it would be valid.

 My receipt was longer than the pee stains down my pants!

I assume this is the universe telling me:

A. I need to wear hotter pajamas
B. The Bombshell bra is not for amateurs
C. God wants me to have more lip gloss and lotion

Now I can cross "win something awesome" off my life's to do list. 

I went home and tested some of my new lingerie for my husband.

Afterwards, I heard something at the foot of the bed and found this little pervert:

Chucky the voyeur.

I have had a crap-eating grin on my face for the last 2 days. (Not because my cat watched me bang my husband, but because I won $500.)

 Looks like someone has been earning some good karma lately....I even got out of jury duty yesterday.
OMG! amen.


  1. That is so funny! I won $100 from their secret rewards program last year. I wonder what the chances are? And I wonder if they make any money doing this because all I bought was lip gloss and then they had to give me $100 of free crap. We just must have good karma from all of our years of.....nevermind.

  2. OMG OMG OMG!!!!!
    You and Jar-Bear will be humping like bunnies now for the next year. I'm glad I'm not renting the house below you. And early congrats on the baby that will be due in 9 months from now

  3. Your blog is vulgar. Michelle Cooley


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.