Urchin Eating

Jared and his boyfriend, Stephen, had a novel idea.

Jared was in need of a little adventure since I had recently misplaced his Lobster Underpants along with his favorite hand lotion.

Let's not get into that though.....

The men decided to borrow a kayak and paddle out to a random place off shore. They brought their scuba equipment and took a few dives to gather ocean delicacies.

Behold the Sea Urchin

 Hours later Jared comes home with a suspicious grin on his face and an orange bucket full of sea urchins. 

He murdered them on our front lawn. 

The light orange blob on the spoon is the part you eat.

I normally refrain from eating anything that was killed on my front lawn, but after considering the fact that I have had WAY DIRTIER things in my mouth, I decided to try it. 

BLEH. Urchin is nasty. It tastes like how the ocean smells..... rotten and foul. And a little bit like pee.

Birthday Card

I made my dad a birthday card:

 Adorable right?!?!?

I hope he appreciated the time and skill level associated with a drawing of this caliber.

I know, I know..... I should go into the card making business.

Chickens and Goats

I planned a field trip for the third graders at the Boys and Girls Club.

My boss and I both drove huge vans full of giddy, pants-peeing kids to:

The Painted Pony Farm in Ojai.  

 

 Jared and Cryin' Ryan tagged along. 

 Everyone got to hold bunnies and chicks. 

 Ryan made out with a chicken then tried to tear it's beak off.

 

All the kids also got to milk a goat. My boss tried it after I reminded him about the bragging rights that come with being able to milk things. He had a disgusted look on his face the entire milking. 

I guess he's not that comfortable around goat nips.

Then Farmer Steve let the kids feed the goats. Ryan always gets excited around animals. He loves them. Like, seriously LOVES them. He tried to lick this goat: 

The best part about this field trip was this kid getting pooped on by a chicken:

Why yes, that IS a poop shaped like a wiener, thanks for asking. 

The other staff and I just stood there laughing. My boss was nice enough to help a kid out. 

Right after the poor kid was turded on, Pee-baby sneezed boogers all over his arm.

 Then we looked at a pig.

amen.