1. Leave your $15 styluses out so your toddler can hide under the table and bite the tips off all of them.
2. Give them a sheet of stickers.
3. Let them hide in 59¢ IKEA bags.
4. Buy them a goldfish. Subsequently bury goldfish in front yard.
5. Store a bin of beans within your two year old's reaching distance, then attempt to sleep in for 10 extra minutes. Quickly find out that 10 minutes is more than enough time to make a huge mess.
6. Hire a good babysitter. I recommend Netflix.
7. Have the guts/stupidity to store permanent markers in your house even though you KNOW your child was born with marker radar. Turn your head for .0035687 seconds so they have opportunity to express their artistic skill.
8. Accidentally show them where you hide the candy.
9. Let them play with your phone and call your boss's boss.... I'm sure your they will appreciate your child's repeated requests for facetime at 6:30am.
10. Let them play with questionable puzzle apps on your tablet.
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See? Taking care of a toddler is easy!!!
