Blame it on the Kids
I don't know what kind of time-machine trickery is going on in my life.
Baby Tyler is doing the exact same things Cryin Ryan did as a 2 year old.
You know that old saying - "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?"
Well screw that. I will not accept that shame.
I am still going to blame my children.
It is not my fault that they don't know how to handle themselves around permanent markers.
I can't be responsible for keeping sharpies out of their reach all of the time.
I also can't be blamed for stupidly buying $18 Lancome lipstick while I have feral children in the house.
It's clearly their fault for not respecting how moisturizing, smooth, and what a great color this lipstick was.
And yes, after Ryan ruined an entire tube of it in 2011, I went and bought a couple more of the EXACT color, because it's my favorite, and Tyler ruined the same ones.
They need to learn the difference between my $1.50 Lip Smackers chap stick and my Sephora investments. I keep them right next to each other!!!
Why do kids always ruin the expensive stuff!?!?!?
I'm sick of this.
They need to grow up and be adults.
Look at them running around in their best white trash costumes - messy hair, diaper with pee in it, and an Eggo waffle.
I don't know why they think it's ok to act like that.
Fine. Maybe their behavior is a little bit my fault.
Like just a really tiny bit.