Hey. I really feel it's time to say thank you to everyone that reads my dumb, trashy blog. For realsies. Kind, thoughtful, and usually hilarious comments keep me laughing which is one of my favorite things in life.
I love stalking my readers and creepily enjoy each post. So thank you, thank you, thank you for the free entertainment.
Oh, and if you have a private blog, screw you. You better add my email to your list: emilybarlocker@yahoo.com because I don't like my blog-stalking hindered in any way.
Ok, so I read a lot of other peoples blogs and am confused at the amount of apologies bloggers present to their readers.
- I've been sooooo bad at blogging lately... SORRY!
- My life has been too busy to blog.... SORRY!
- I haven't blogged recently because I've been pinteresting and facebooking too much.... SORRY!
- I finally showered and got my life together so I couldn't post.... SORRY!
- My jail privileges were revoked so I couldn't blog for 12-16 months. SO SORRY!
I never apologize for my inconsistent blogging.
Partly because I'm better than everyone but also because it's a freaking blog.
I'm inconsistent. So what.
You shouldn't apologize either.
So why do I even write this blog?
I write this blog because shocking and/or grossing people out is fun for me.
Once my kids are over the age of 30, I hope it will be an appallingly honest form of family history for them.
I love making people laugh.
That's why I draw, and that's why I write, and that's why I had kids.
The best compliment I can receive is someone telling me my adult acne is looking better or that my blog is funny.
Life is hard sometimes and laughing is as essential as breathing.
I like to think my trashy blog is contributing to the greater good.
If someone is having a bad day I hope they can read a post and feel better by throwing all their pity my way instead. I hope for the 3 minutes it takes to read one of my lazy posts, you are transported away from your troubles and experience the questionable world I live in.
That's also why I am so open about how messed up my view on the world is. Life is never perfect and honesty can be hilarious.
Some Researcher from USC contacted me about my blog.
He is doing some research on personal blogs about why people share their personal lives on the internet and to what extent.
I guess he wants to find correlations between basic demographics, political/religious views, whether you sit down to pee or not, and blogging.
Usually I would not participate in something like this because: lazy.
But my inner Sociologist got the biggest boner ever so I contacted the dude back and hooked him up with a lot of inappropriate information.
I hope the data I provided really skews the results.
Looks like my degree is really paying off when I can skew results for other people's graduate thesis work. At one point I answered that one of the primary things I write about is poo.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
Anyway, a picture to thank you:
Ew..... too creepy. SORRY!
