Pregnancy messes up your body.
Besides the fact that I pee a little every time I go to the trampoline park, I have another embarrassing problem.
Have you heard of "pregnancy mask" or Melasma?
Melasma is a dark skin discoloration that appears on sun-exposed areas of the face.
It is basically the cherry on the top of the sundae that is pregnancy.
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Luckily my misfortune is not as extreme as these cases.
Towards the end of my captivity, I had a healthy helping of freckles all over my mug. Everywhere the sun hit may face was noticeably darker than everywhere else.
Over 1 and 1/2 years later most of the discoloration faded away but I was left with a mustache of darker skin above my lips.
I can kind of cover it up with makeup but in my heart, I know I still have a dirty sanchez.
You can totally see it in this picture:
I don't want to talk about this anymore. amen.
