Meet Shakey Jake

  • He is my older brother. He loves to violate societies norms. (For photographic evidence see previous post.)
  • Before getting his picture taken for a LDS mission application, I dared him to let me do his hair. He agreed. Behold:

  • He was once fooling around with his wife while driving and then ran over a homeless man. To smooth things over Jake bought the maimed Hobo a six pack of natty light and new gas station sun glasses.
  • He has buttloads of class.
  • He once made a guy so mad that the guy punched him in the face. Jake was so stoked that the guy ended up paying for new glasses. He modeled them for me.
  • When he sees people singing in their cars he honks to get their attention then claps for their performance.
  • He is taking flight lessons and mistakenly believes I will ride with him. Not even his wife will ride with him.
  • He thinks his continual farting is impressive.
  • When we were young, my parents would leave us to babysit our partially handicapped little brothers and sisters. Every time he would beat me up. Every time. If he was feeling extra generous, he would beat everyone else up too.
  • He has a beard. On his face.
  • Every time I ask about his new baby he says she is "cute as sh*t". Just like I told you... buttloads of class. amen.

1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha, oddly enough, I'm now a little bit more proud to call this fine specimen of human my brother.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.