Butt Glitter

I feel so conflicted. I love glitter, but I also think it's the Devil.
I was at one of my favorite stores in the world, Paper Source, when I found a beautiful roll of silver glitter wrapping paper. I bought it... and it wasn't even on sale.
A few days later at the American Mecca of Walmart, I found a glittery blue roll for 1/2 the price. Of course I bought that too.
Getting ready to wrap some presents, I unfurled my glorious sparkle paper and the glitter instantly covered my entire body and the entire kitchen.
That's the problem with glitter. It gets everywhere. I later found it in my car, the bathtub, Ryan's fingernails, and in my hair. Weeks later I still found remnants in my suitcase and in my butt-crack.... it was a surprisingly festive reminder of the holiday season.
Finding glitter in all your crevices is the sacrifice that must be made.
But look how pretty it looked under the tree!!!
It was especially magical at night with the tree lights on.
Pee-Baby loved all the "parkles".  
So did my brother when his two sons opened their presents and coated him in glitter prettiness.
I'm guessing they all found some in their butt-cracks later.


  1. I'm mad at you that I didn't get to see you this Christmas. I hope you have glitter in your vagina too.

    1. I cried a little that I didn't get to see you guys, but trust me, you wouldn't have wanted my infected baby around yours. We were sick basically the whole time I was there, so I would appreciate some sympathy rather than curses of a glittery vagina.
      I have to give birth in a couple months and would prefer not to surprise the doctor with a sparkly water breakage.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.