Meet Rachel

I have 3 sisters. 66.667% or 2/3 of them are awesome.

Rachel happens to be 1 of the 2 sisters that don't suck the will out of all living things.

Rachel came out to visit me a few months ago. For 9 days all we did was spoil and laugh at Cryin' Ryan's antics. We also caused a fair amount of trouble, which is one of my favorite pastimes.

As a little sister she was always the chill, nice one who minded her own business. I can appreciate that in a sibling.
She also used to draw me questionable pictures in church:

A Constipated Grandma
 Boy: aren't you done yet Grandma
Knock on door: bang, bang

I Hate Kids

 Emily pooping Jelly Beans

Emily your sick and messed up
<3 Rachel

 Emily thinks she is the prettiest in the world

Jacked up right? You should see the ones I drew for her......

The only really messed up thing I ever remember her doing was this:

My mom had just made 2 huge pans of homemade cinnamon rolls.
Jared and I were dating at the time. When we came upstairs to partake of the gift that is cinnamon rolls.......


That is messed up......
And Rachel was the perpetrator.

In my family, as in any family, this is an unforgivable sin.

Years later, I found out she was just heeding my advice.

I am a firm believer that if you are going to waste calories, you should waste them in the most delicious way possible.
So it made sense that she only wanted to waste calories on the best part of the cinnamon roll.

Fair enough Rachel. Fair enough.

I only forgive you cause your cool and I like you.....
and because you appreciate my shenanigans.


  1. I don't have any sisters! Or brothers for that matter. So I'm slightly jealous of your way cool sister.

    Except the cinnamon roll thing. Might be worth it not to have siblings as I never worried about such sins.

  2. I think 99% of your family's time at church is spent doing inappropriate things. You are actually my only friend I covenanted to never go to church with again because of all of the inappropriateness.


Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.