Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Boneless Thumb

When Ryan was less than a week old I forgot to tuck his wiener down when changing his diaper. He ended up peeing everywhere and soaking his nasty newborn belly button stump. (Which is where the nickname "Pee-baby" originated.)
The purple umbilical stump was saturated with pee and looked waterlogged and infected.

I was scared his bellybutton would be jacked up for life.

Luckily the 2011 pee incident did not lead to a freaky looking navel.

Instead, Cryin' Ryan's belly button shriveled back up, dried out like a raisin and fell off.
The remaining skin healed into the shape of a butt-crack:




My belly button is pretty normal... except for when I was pregnant. Then it looked like my cat's b-hole.


My pregnant belly button also looks a little bit like a pedo-smile. Creepy.

I guess I should just be thankful my belly button doesn't look like a boneless thumb. That's way creepier.




I have seen some disturbing belly buttons......I am not talking about a cute, normal "outie".
I'm talking boneless belly-tail.

That would look WAY jacked up if a pregnant person had one.



Creepy...... yet extremely classy.

 I should be an artist. amen.

2 comments:

  1. haha BELLY TAIL?!?
    that's the most disgusting thing I've heard all day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oooh, gross! I'm just grateful I have an innie!

    XO,
    Jane

    ReplyDelete

Speak with your heart or your private parts, either one is fine with me.

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